Lack of confidence is one of the biggest reasons people don’t achieve their goals. Confidence is key to success in any area of life, but it’s something that many people struggle with. In this post, I’ll share 3 Keys to Unlock Unshakeable Confidence. Once you have this confidence, you will be able to achieve just about anything you set your mind to.
Most people think that confidence is something you either have or you don’t and I used to be one of them. But the truth is, anyone can build up their confidence if they have the know-how.
I used to be a wallflower in the world of business networking, public speaking used to be my second biggest fear. My mindset was like Sheldon Cooper’s when he was sitting on the couch (Big Bang Theory fans can relate). In fact, a former business partner called me a ‘lovely person’ meaning someone who was great fun at happy hour but had no influence in business. My lack of confidence was a result of bullying in high school and being in a verbally abusive relationship for seven years in my late twenties to early thirties.
These 3 keys made a HUGE impact in my life personally and professionally.
Hang out with people who fit your future, not your past.
Be THE Average
The first key to unlocking unshakeable confidence is to be the average. To clarify, I didn’t say be average but be THE average. Jim Rohn famously said. “we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.” You will increase your confidence when you surround yourself with people who push you to be better in a good way. They’ve been there and done that and can act as a mentor. They can also help hold you accountable and lovingly kick you in the butt when you need it.
The person who taught me this key was Denise Mills who I met in 2005. She had this energy that LIT up the room and it was contagious. I knew I wanted more but wasn’t sure how to get there. Meeting Denise literally changed the direction of my business and how I lived my life.
I started setting goals and expecting more from myself because I wanted that energy that Denise had. Thanks to the Pacific Institute’s training in performance mindset, I learned how my mind worked both consciously and subconsciously and had the confidence to push my comfort zones even though I was scared because I wanted more.
- Think about a person in your life who’s made a MAJOR impact on you by helping you in some way. When was the last time you spoke to them? If it’s been more than a month then reach out.
- Is there a specific area in that you can use a confidence boost? And if so, who can you reach out to help you UP your average? Reach out to them!
When you surround yourself with successful and significant people, you will start to think and act more like them. You will also be held accountable to a higher standard, which can help you to have more confidence and achieve more than you ever thought possible.
Take Imperfect Action
Everyone knows setting goals is a must but goals won’t increase your confidence, in fact, the idea of simply setting a goal may make you procrastinate. When that happens ask yourself why are you doing this? and then drill down until you get the answer.
For example, confidence comes from action, not inaction. So if you’re goal is to start a coaching business then the reason behind that might be to make more money or to have more freedom. Keep drilling down until you get to the real reason, which might be that you want to provide a better life for your family. Now THAT is something worth working towards!
The yes but that always comes up is ‘but what if I fail?’. Yes, there is a chance you might fail but confidence comes from taking action in spite of the fear. You can’t be 100% confident if you’re not putting yourself out there.
CONFIDENCE TIP: Reverse engineer a big goal into smaller goals (and use the next key)
In order to increase confidence, it’s important to break down your big goal that pushes your comfort zones down into smaller goals. This way you are focusing on your next steps rather than thinking about the big picture. Take imperfect action and confidence will follow.
Remember Your Successes
The final key to unlocking unshakeable confidence is to remember your successes. You cannot be confident if you do not know your worth. So many people go through life thinking they are not good enough or that they don’t deserve to achieve their goals. This is simply not true! You are just as worthy as anyone else and you have the ability to achieve anything you set your mind to.
Stop comparing yourself to others and start valuing yourself for who you are. When you know your worth, confidence will come naturally.
TIP: When you get in the “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t know how to” or “But what if I fail?” mindset then be sure to Remember Your Successes!
It sounds simple but it’s easy to forget the times when you’ve been successful in the past. We tend to focus on our failures and what we could have done better but that only serves to decrease confidence.
CONFIDENCE TIP: Think about a time when you were really proud of yourself, what did you do? How did you feel? What does that look like when you visualize this?
Taking this extra step also helps you to engage your pre-frontal cortex which helps you to push past internal comfort zones. Remembering your successes is a great way to increase confidence in the present moment. The key: give yourself credit and acknowledge your successes, big and small.
Remember, confidence is not something you either have or don’t have, it’s something you build by taking action and pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone. So don’t be afraid to fail, because each failure is one step closer to success. Keep going and never give up on yourself! You can achieve anything you set your mind to. Start implementing these three keys into your life today and watch your confidence soar!
P.S. If you want to take this information a step further then grab my complete 90-day planning session including the Success Guide and video walkthrough. Grab it below!