If you’ve ever set goals with the best intentions, only to feel frustrated a few weeks later when nothing seems to stick, you’re not alone. Most people aren’t failing at goal setting because they lack discipline or ambition. They’re failing because the advice they’ve been following doesn’t match how real life—or the human brain—actually works.
This post originally leaned heavily on SMART goals, which were everywhere at the time. And while that framework can still be useful, I’ve learned over the years that clarity alone isn’t enough. Focus, emotional buy-in, and realistic timelines matter just as much, especially if you’re juggling work, relationships, responsibilities, and a brain that’s already tired.
So think of this as an updated, more honest guide to setting goals you can actually follow through on.
✅ Step 1: Reflect Before You Set Anything New
Before you rush into writing fresh goals, pause and look back. Most people skip this step and then wonder why they repeat the same patterns year after year.
Ask yourself:
- Which goals did you actually follow through on in the past?
- Which ones quietly faded out by February or March?
- What felt energizing, and what felt like a constant uphill battle?
- Where did focus, time, or emotional bandwidth get in the way?
This isn’t about judgment. It’s about awareness. When you reflect honestly, you stop setting goals based on who you wish you were and start setting them based on who you actually are right now.
If reflection feels hard because your brain never seems to slow down, that’s not a character flaw. It’s a focus issue—and it’s more common than people admit. I break this down more deeply in Why You Can’t Focus (and What to Do Before You Set Goals), because goal setting doesn’t work if your attention is constantly being pulled in ten directions.
✅ Step 2: Use SMART Goals as a Tool, Not the Strategy
SMART goals—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound—aren’t bad. They’re just incomplete.
They work well for defining outcomes and tracking progress. Where they fall short is when people try to use them as the starting point, especially when they’re already overwhelmed or distracted.
SMART goals help answer:
- What exactly am I trying to do?
- How will I know if it’s working?
They don’t help with:
- staying motivated when energy dips
- regaining focus when life gets noisy
- deciding what actually matters most
In other words, SMART goals organize action, but they don’t create momentum. If focus has been your biggest challenge, structure alone won’t solve it.
✅ Step 3: Get Clear on the Bigger Picture First
Before you break goals into steps or timelines, you need context. Otherwise, every goal feels heavy, disconnected, or arbitrary.
One of the most effective ways to create that context is to step back and define your bigger vision using four simple prompts:
- What do you want to do?
- What do you want to have?
- Who do you want to be?
- How do you want to live?
This isn’t about tactics or to-do lists. It’s about identity and lifestyle. When your goals connect to how you want your life to feel—not just what you want to accomplish—your brain starts paying attention.
I walk through this framework in more detail in Setting Bold Goals for 2026, because goals stick when they’re rooted in meaning, not pressure.
✅ Step 4: Turn Your Goals Into Real-Life Action (Without Overengineering It)
This is where a lot of goal-setting advice starts to feel like homework.
You’re told to create a detailed action plan, map every step, and schedule everything perfectly. That might work for some people, but for most of us, it’s also where overwhelm creeps back in.
Instead of asking, “What are all the tasks I need to do?” try asking a simpler question:
“What does progress actually look like in real life?”
Here’s what that can look like.
A business example
Let’s say one of your goals is to grow your business revenue in the next 90 days.
Rather than creating a massive list of marketing tasks, you might decide that real progress looks like:
- carving out one protected block of time each week to work on the business, not just in it
- identifying one offer or service you want to refine instead of juggling five ideas
- choosing one visibility channel to focus on consistently for the next 90 days
Those choices become your action plan. Not because they’re complicated, but because they’re realistic and repeatable.
A personal example
Now let’s say your goal is to move your body more consistently.
Instead of promising yourself you’ll work out six days a week, real-life action might look like:
- scheduling three non-negotiable movement blocks on your calendar
- deciding ahead of time what “counts” as a win (a walk, a class, strength training)
- removing friction by laying out clothes or choosing workouts you don’t dread
Again, nothing fancy. Just decisions that make follow-through easier.
The point isn’t to plan every detail. It’s to create a structure that supports you when motivation dips — because it will. When your action plan fits your actual life, consistency stops feeling like willpower and starts feeling like momentum.
This philosophy is the foundation of the Unfiltered 90-Day Planning System. It’s designed for real life—not perfect January energy—and it works with how your brain naturally builds momentum.
✅ Step 5: Build Systems, Not Just To-Do Lists
Once you’re working in 90-day windows, the focus shifts from tasks to systems.
Tasks are one-offs. Systems are repeatable.
Instead of asking, “What do I need to do?” you start asking, “What needs to be in place so this becomes easier to repeat?”
That might mean:
- creating a simple weekly rhythm instead of a rigid schedule
- choosing fewer priorities so you actually finish them
- breaking goals into actions that fit your real energy, not your ideal one
This is often the turning point where people stop feeling like they’re constantly starting over.
If visualizing the future you’re working toward feels difficult, that’s usually a sign your brain needs help slowing down before planning. The 20-Minute Scene Reset was created for exactly that reason—to help you mentally step into the version of your life you’re building before you map out how to get there.
The Truth About Goals That Actually Work
Goals don’t fail because you aren’t motivated enough. They fail because they’re set without considering how attention, emotion, and energy actually work in real life.
When you take the time to reflect honestly, stop treating SMART goals as the entire solution, anchor what you’re working toward to a bigger vision, shorten your planning horizon, and build systems instead of relying on pressure or willpower, everything starts to change. Goal setting stops feeling like a yearly reset you hope will stick and starts feeling like something you can actually sustain.
If you’re ready to approach your goals in a way that feels grounded, realistic, and aligned with how your brain works, there are a few ways we can do that together. Inside my coaching and planning work, I help you clarify what matters most, translate that into a 90-day plan you can follow through on, and build the kind of momentum that doesn’t disappear by February.
And if focus has been the missing piece all along, start there. Your goals will thank you.
